The Scotsman

A Scotsman clad in kilt left the pub one evening fair

One could tell by how he walked he drunk more then his share

He stumbled on until he could no longer keep his feet

Then he stumbled off unto the grass to sleep beside the street

Ring ding diddle diddle dido, ring di diddly oh

ETC

About that time two young and buxom lasses happen by

One say’s to the other, with a twinkle in her eye

"See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and hansom built

I wonder if its true what they don’t wear beneath their kilt"

Ring ding diddle diddle dido, ring di diddly oh

ETC

They crept upon the Scotsman as quiet as can be

They lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see

And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt

Was nothing more then God had graced him with upon his birth

Ring ding diddle diddle dido, ring di diddly oh

ETC:

They marveled for a moment then one said, "We must be gone.

Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along."

As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied in a bow

Around the bonny star that the kilt did lift and show

Ring ding diddle diddle dido, ring di diddly oh

ETC

The Scotsman woke to nature's call, and he stumbled toward the trees

Behind a bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees

And in a startled voice he cries, "Aw what’s before me eyes?

Aw lad I don’t know where ya been, but I see you won first prize!"

Ring ding diddle diddle dido, ring di diddly oh

ETC