Bedlam Bards

2001 Schedule

• March 10, 11, 17, 18, 24, 25,  31, April 1.     Located at the Rocky Hill Ranch, Smithville, TX.  Phone 512-303-3801  Feasting and festing with King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table is a great way to start the faire-filled year (or millennium, for those who know how the calendar really works). In addition to the ever popular Bedlam Bards (all three!), fairegoers will enjoy the Tudor Tarts, Zoe Alexander, Scott Boswell, the Brobdingnagian Bards, Owl Morrison, Zerehade, Celtic Cleavage, and first-rate magic and jousting shows, all at a fraction of the cost you would pay to get into TRF or Scarborough. You can even get a discount ticket if you bring a can of food to donate to the Capital Area Food Bank.  Speaking of food, while you’re at the faire, stop by Zerehade’s middle-eastern food booth (next to the Golden Cockerel tavern) for a Cedric Special (spanikopita or felafel, hummus, tabouleh, and yoghurt sauce--Cedric says it’s heaven on a plate).  Well, just about every day of Excalibur 2001 broke some record or other, even when competing with Saint Paddy’s Day and South-by-Southwest (Austin’s premier music festival). This bodes well for our heroes in 2002. In other new, the Bedlam Bards (along with just about everyone else at the faire) were selected to appear in a national shampoo commercial that was being filmed on site. Cedric has always been proud of his ability to weave among the dancers while he’s playing a maypole dance, but he’s got to take his hat off to the commercial’s star, who pushed a portable sink through the entire dance. Excalibur 2001 also provided some great chances for the Bards from Bedlam to jam with Owl Morrison, Barrett the Barefoot Piper, Scott Boswell, Sam Moses (of Vitulari!), and the Brobdingnagians. Finally, the adventures of one Sunday inspired the filk, “Whiskey for the Bards,” which will appear on Take Out the Trash, Volume Two. 

The Gin-U-Wine Oyster Bar

• March 17.  Located at 707 Chestnut, Bastrop, TX 512-321-9864
  Saint Paddy's Day. Being die-hard rennies, we've decided to split the good saint's day between Excalibur and the Gin-U-Wine Oyster Bar, where Take Out the Trash holds a place of honor in the jukebox. Come on out to wash down corned beef and cabbage with pint upon pint of Guinness. The landlord of this fine establishment has also lined up Excalibur veterans Zoe Alexander and Scott Boswell to perform.  (By the way, saying the name of the Gin-U-Wine is even more effective at banishing a brogue than saying, "The beer is in the pickup truck.")  Major jammage! In addition to those mentioned above, Owl Morrison brought her viola, and the lot of us had one of the sweetest sessions of Irish Renfolk music ever. “Sibeag Simor” never sounded so fine. We’ve decided to make it a tradition, and TJ, the landlord and a member of the Clan McCrack, has dubbed his annual music festival “South by Southeast.”
  

Oklahoma Renaissance Festival at The Castle of Muskogee

• May 5, 6, 12, 13, 19, 20.    Located at 3400 Fern Mountain Rd.  Muskogee, OK. Phone 918-687-3625.  Well, I’m proud to be a rennie from . . .  Muskennie?  Hmm . . . that’s going to take some work.  Well, Hawke and Cedric will be working extra hard at ORF, which is held at the beautiful Castle of Muskogee.  They’ll be missing Lilly, but they’ll be glad to dance and play around the maypole on the perfect spring days this faire is famous for. It was at the Castle that Hawke and Cedric devised the Bedlam Bard’s guarantee: If you don’t laugh so hard you pee in your pants, we’ll pee in your pants for you. (We must be funny because no one has ever taken us up on that.) We love this faire, and they love us so much that they wouldn’t pay us for 2000 until we signed our contract for 2001. Oklahoma, here we come!     If anyone went to this faire and didn’t have fun, it’s because that person was dead! Have we mentioned that this is our favorite faire? It bears mentioning again. The cast, the crew, the pub, the dancing, the vendors, the patrons, the management, the grounds, the wenches, Tullamore, Red McWilliams, the gypsies, Red Gryphon—we’re in love with the whole faire. Several years ago, we were just another band to them, and Castleton was just another faire; but we’ve made a lot of great friends over the years. We have not only a following, but a family. Some of his fellow performers inspired Hawke to write a new verse to Drunken Sailor:  What do you do with some drunken sailors?     Put ‘em on stage and call ‘em Bilge Pumps! The only dark spot for this season was that Will Somers, formerly jester to the good king, was not in attendance. The good news is that he’ll be back for the Boar’s Head Feast! Come see us then!
  
  

The Valhalla Renaissance Festival 

• June 2, 3, 9, 10. Located on Highway 89, 2 1/2 miles north of South Lake Tahoe. Phone 530-544-7348.  As summer comes upon us, it's time for the birds to spread their wings and start migrating north to cooler weather. Hawke is no exception. This will be Hawke's first year at the Valhalla festival; he will be performing high-energy Celtic music with Red Hugh. The Hall of the Slain never rocked so hard!

Northwest Renaissance Festival

• June 16, 17,  23, 24,  30, July 1, 7, 8, 14, 15, 21, 22.  Located 6493 Hwy 291 Nine Miles Falls, WA.  18 Miles from Spokane.  Phone 509-487-2041.    At this faire, they realize that Hawke is a star, but they think that Cedric and Lilly are either (a) figments of Hawke's imagination or (b) fictional characters simulated by a vast conspiracy. Once again Hawke will be flying solo, though Red Hugh may show up for some merriment.

The Washington Renaissance Faire in Gig Harbor

• Aug. 4, 5, 11, 12. Located at Minter Creek Ranch, 10215 State Road 302, in Gig Harbor, Washington.  I can't believe it: Heather Alexander does this little faire just outside of Tacoma, Washington. This will be Hawke's second year there. Maybe he'll pick up another autographed Heather Alexander album for Cedric before he comes south for the winter.

Hawkwood Medieval Fantasy Faire

• Sept. 1, 2, 8, 9, 15, 16, 22, 23, 29, 30,  Oct. 6. 7, 13, 14.  Located 20 miles North of  Fort Worth on I-35W exit 70 at Hwy 114.  Phone 817- 430-4102.  What can I say? This is our home faire and the only one where we get our own police escort. With the schedule shift, Hawkwood has moved into cooler weather, but the Painted Badger Pub is still a hotbed of bawdy song and illicit abusement--I mean--amusement. Where else have seven scantily-clad maidens tied themselves to a tree during our shows? (O lucky, lucky tree . . .) Where else does the Clan M’Crack gather in such numbers?  Where else do the pub wenches jump onto stage with us to dance? Where else have the Bedlam Bards been arrested with such frequency?  Oh, it's good to be back home at Hawkwood! This season's fun included a much more active bunch of Bedheads than we've seen in the past. We'd call them a following, but they were usually at our shows before we were. Does that make them leaders? Or simply Harbingers of Bedlam? When we issued the challenge to rescue us from having to learn new limericks, the Hawkwood Bedheads leapt to the task, delivering not only volumes of old traditionals, but also originals about the band and some of our most prominent fans. Even our police escort with the arresting smile got in on the act. Others flocked to our clean sets and demanded the kind of serious music we love but don't get to do as often. Thanks! By the way, the fan fun didn't end with the last Sunday this year. It turns out they've formed an official fan club--or would that be a support group? ("Hi, my name is April, and I'm an alco--I mean--a Bedhead.") Check them out at:
  http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/thebedlambardsclub. The only downside to having such devoted fans was having to say (over and over again), "No, the new album's not out yet. It's almost done, but it's not out yet. It will be out soon." We promise! The fans made Hawkwood special for us, but we shouldn't overlook the battle of (half)wits between Cedric and Lilly, who competed to see which one could write more vicious verses about the other having sex with dogs. (Scoreboard: Lilly 3; Cedric 8; Hawke trying to stay out of this one)
   

Boars Head Feast at The Castle of Muskogee

• Nov. 17, 18.    Located at 3400 Fern Mountain Rd.  Muskogee, OK. Phone 918-687-3625.  The boys from Bedlam have heard that King Henry will be feasting in Castleton again this fall, so they'll be sure to turn up for two evenings of fun, food, and feasting with the court. Will Somers returns to lead the dancing, so come hear the Bedlam Bards in the grand hall at the Castle of Muskogee (instead of freezing your tails off at some outdoor faire).  Hawke and Cedric arrived at the Castle with heavy hearts, for his Majesty’s Sunday feast had been cancelled; but a few moments in the presence of the dear people of Castleton lifted the Bedlam Bards’ spirits. They resolved to have twice as much fun as normal into the remaining Saturday night feast. With the help of jam sessions with Red McWilliams and a hall packed to the gills with BedHeads—some of whom drove up from Texas for the festivities—they had a rousing evening of revelry. When at last the Castle closed its gates, a bevy of BedHeads swept the Bards away to an all-night afterparty at the local Denny’s. That little Oklahoma diner will never be the same . . . The merriment was made sweeter by the poignant songs and words that Red and the Bards offered in memory of Jody, a long-time member of the Castleton Garrison, and in memory of Don Dixon, the father of Jenny Dixon, veteran BedHead and Castle performer. May the sun of the Summerlands shine upon them both.